What to Expect in Your First Couples Counseling Session

Starting couples therapy can feel intimidating. You might be wondering what to say, how it works, or whether your therapist will take sides. The good news? The first session is really about creating a safe space, setting goals, and understanding the patterns that brought you here.

Here’s what typically happens:

1. You’ll both get a chance to speak. The first session isn’t about blame—it’s about understanding. I’ll ask questions about your relationship history, current concerns, and what you each hope to get from therapy.
2. We identify your shared goals. Whether you want to argue less, rebuild trust, or feel closer again, we’ll work together to define what success looks like for both of you.
3. I’ll explain how I work. I often use evidence-based approaches like the Gottman Method and emotionally focused therapy. You’ll learn how sessions will go and how we’ll track progress over time.
4. You’ll leave with hope—and a plan. Couples often say they feel more heard and understood after the very first session. You’ll leave with clarity on the next steps and the sense that you don’t have to do this alone.

Why Couples Therapy Isn’t Just for Couples in Crisis

When people hear “couples therapy,” they often picture relationships on the brink of collapse. But the truth is, therapy isn’t just for putting out fires—it’s also for building stronger, healthier partnerships.

In my Staten Island practice, I see couples who want to:

• Communicate More Clearly
• Navigate Life Transitions (Like Parenthood, Moving, or Career Shifts)
• Rebuild Connection After Feeling Distant
• Strengthen an Already Solid Foundation

Think of couples therapy like a tune-up, not just a repair. It gives you tools to manage conflict, express appreciation, and stay emotionally connected. You don’t need to be in crisis to benefit—you just need a willingness to grow together.

How the Gottman Method Can Help You Break the Cycle of Conflict

If you and your partner find yourselves having the same argument over and over, you’re not alone. Many couples fall into cycles that feel impossible to break.

That’s where tools from the Gottman Method come in. Based on decades of research, this approach focuses on:

• Managing Conflict (Instead of Trying to Eliminate It)
• Building Emotional Intimacy
• Turning Toward Your Partner in Small, Everyday Ways

One key tool? “Soft startups”—the way you begin a conversation can predict how it will end. Instead of jumping in with criticism, try:

“I feel overwhelmed when the house is a mess—can we talk about how we can manage that together?”

It’s small shifts like this that lead to big changes.

Therapy for One: Why Individual Counseling Can Improve Your Relationships

You don’t have to go to couples therapy to work on your relationship.

Sometimes, the best way to heal patterns in your partnership is by working on yourself. In individual counseling, we can explore:

• How Your Experiences Show Up in Your Current Relationship
• How to Set Boundaries and Express Needs Clearly
• How Anxiety, Stress, or Burnout May Be Impacting Your Connection

Therapy gives you space to reflect, reset, and learn new ways of relating to others. Even if your partner isn’t ready for counseling, you can still lead the change.